Steadying Heartbeat

I watched my young daughter reach out her arms to my father. He warmly picked her up on his lap as a gentle, loving grandfather. Nozomi-Dawn snuggled her face into his chest, tucked her knees into his arms, and breathed a contented sigh. She was safe. Whatever 9-year-old worries from seconds ago were all released in that sigh of contentment. I watched from the other side of the room and couldn’t help but think of the prayer prayed for me the night before by my Uncle. He had prayed that I could snuggle onto my Heavenly Father’s lap, feel His strong arms around me, and hear the steady beat of His heart. The more I thought of that prayer, the more I realized how desperate I was for the safety of my Father’s arms, the constant reality of His steadying heartbeat, and the sigh of rest when I could breathe out the incredible weight of the world.

I’ve dealt with chronic and acute illness for almost eight years. My 2024 motto is “Peering Ahead; Gazing Back. God is Faithful.”

I don’t know about you, but I tend to have a short memory of the good stuff in life. I forget about the ways the Lord has outdone Himself. I fail to remember when the God of the world gently reached down from His throne room, wiped the tears from my eyes, lifted me from the ashes, and put a song of joy into my heart.

Seeing Nozomi-Dawn wrapped in her Grandee’s arms the other night, reminiscing over my Uncle’s prayer, and peering ahead while gazing back at my God’s faithfulness began a new trajectory of hope after the overwhelmingly crushing days of 2024.

I’m crawling up into my Savior’s arms now. I’m allowing myself to be consumed with all that is around me. My eyes feast on the glitter and shimmering diamonds and gems that make up the walls and ceiling of His throne room. I can smell the purity of forgiveness. I rest my head on His shoulder and feel His heartbeat spurring mine to continue beating. I taste the goodness of gentle protection. And my ears are filled with the praise of His people - in more dialects than my earthly mind can fathom. At this moment, I will rest in the arms of a Heavenly Father who has been faithful through all yesterday's struggles.  In this moment, I’ll rest in the arms of a Heavenly Father whose Word says He cannot change… and a Father in whom I can place my confident hope in His faithfulness to hold me close to His heart tomorrow.

Come rest with me? Are you overwhelmed with fear? Has life sucked all joy and praise from your lips? Are you ready to throw yourself on the floor in extreme exhaustion and sorrow? He longs for His children to find comfort in His embrace. While human sin has brought thorns and thistles into our lives, we can confidently know our God is Faithful. No matter what our emotions tell us about the state of our lives. The truth is that our God is Faithful. So I command my brain to acknowledge truth right now. Not because I feel it. Not because I’m even confident that it’s true. But my God cannot lie, and He says HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL! And as His truth slowly finds its way into the pathways of my brain, I will find it a little easier to let out that sigh of relief as I snuggle up in His embrace.

Until next time, my fellow travelers,